Sex, intercourse, masturbation, pleasure, orgasm, ejaculation, penis, vagina, clitoris, scrotum, testicles, labia, uterus, testes, sperm, ova/egg, birth control, condoms, fantasy, role-playing, sex toys, oral, anal, bondage, dominant, submissive, sexual expression, likes and dislikes, consent, communication, relationships… etc.
Have I made you uncomfortable? Are you blushing or considering closing this page? Well, I am here to help you get over that. Sex is not a bad thing. It’s a wonderful life-giving and life-affirming thing. Almost every single person on this planet got here because of sex! How can that be so bad!?!? Before certain things got in the way, sex was a normal, bland, expected part of life.
Let’s journey back to pre-agricultural times when groups of families would stick together in small communities and hunt and forage together. They were having children; otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this shocking and inappropriate (not) blog post. How did those children come into being? Through sex. And where were these people having sex? Was there a whole separate “sex shelter” built just for that purpose? UHH, No! What a waste of resources to have a whole house that’s not actually used for anything. They were having sex right next to other people while they were sleeping; several couples were even having sex in the same place at the same time! And no one thought this was weird or uncomfortable. You know why? Because there is nothing BAD about sex!
Now, don’t misunderstand me – these people were having sex for the express purpose of having children, and they were well aware of the result of their actions. I am in NO WAY telling you to go out and have sex willy-nilly. Sex comes with tons of responsibility and should be treated as such. No one, literally NO ONE should have sex until they can fully understand and openly accept the responsibility is requires. But understanding and accepting this responsibility is the complete opposite of hiding sex behind closed doors, closed minds, and closed mouths. We cannot fully understand and accept this responsibility if we don’t talk about sex and what it means. And we need to talk in clear, concise, and universal terms to be sure EVERYONE understands.
If you want your children to practice safe sex or to avoid sex until they fully understand and accept the responsibility it carries – then quit hiding it from them! How are they supposed to learn if you won’t teach them? Don’t hide it. Don’t use dumb nicknames for anatomical body parts. Don’t use euphemisms to describe the sexual act of intercourse. It’s not a “special hug,” boys don’t have “wee-wees,” girls don’t have “hoo-has.” Get over yourself, take responsibility for your children and tell them the real truth.
And also stand up for yourself! How is your partner supposed to please you and allow you to reach that lovely place of orgasm if you don’t tell them that thing they do hurts, or that something else feels good? You also might learn that something is physically not working the way it should. I can’t even begin to count the friends, colleagues, partners, even family members that have discovered an actual, physical issue that required medical attention, all because they started opening up about their experience of sex. If you’re not talking about sex, intercourse, body parts, and your relationship, you might be ignoring a real, tangible problem that CAN be solved.
So, here’s your homework: take that list at the top of the page and start saying all those terms out loud once a day. Get used to how it feels and start encouraging others to do the same.
Do you want to stop the spread of STI’s, stop pre-teen and teenage pregnancy, stop sexual abuse inflicted on millions of innocent children and adults, stop living unsatisfied or in pain? TALK ABOUT SEX!